In this post
Introduction Why I chose to be a mindful parent
After trying lots of different parenting styles, I decided I needed to be a more mindful parent.
Trying different parenting styles left me feeling stressed.
Being unable to communicate well with my children was not what kind of parent I wanted to be. Not to mention having so many expectations for myself and my children.
This was when I realised I was missing something.
Mindful parenting wasn’t a style I was aware of. I started researching better ways to support myself and my two beautiful girls. One of whom is autistic.
I know right now you are thinking “I’m clicking off this page, my child is not autistic”.
Before you leave, let me tell you that I didn’t realize my daughter was autistic until she was 8 years old. To you, she wouldn’t ‘look’ autistic either.
This post is not solely about being a mindful parent to an autistic child but being a mindful parent to ANY child.
If you are new to my blog then I’m Bee. Hi. Find out more about me and my blog.
Now you know me better, you know I home-educate both of my daughters.
This has allowed us as a family to bond, communicate and thrive.
Here’s why being a mindful parent is crucial and how it has transformed our family life.
Why mindful parenting is important
Being a mindful parent means being present and engaged with your children.
Understanding and listening to their views and responding with empathy and patience.
This is very hard, right? I am not a super mum. I struggle too. We are human and we will and do make mistakes daily.
That’s okay! Give yourself a break. You are here because you want to improve. That counts.
Being a mindful parent is particularly beneficial when you have an autistic child. It helps our children feel understood, safe, and valued. Here’s why it’s so essential:
1. Emotional Connection:
By being mindful, we can get to know our children’s emotional states.
Being a mindful parent we can respond in the best way. Also creating a deep emotional bond.
I always thought I had a good bond with my children, but by being a mindful mum I have seen obvious progress. Especially between my autistic child and myself.
This has been a shock but I love it and don’t want to lose it either.
2. Improved Communication:
Mindful parenting encourages us to listen.
I used to think I listened well to my children.
Being mindful I noticed I never stopped, looked at them and gave them proper responses most of the time. I walked away when they were talking, busy doing my own tasks.
This wasn’t the kind of parent I wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, it’s bloody hard to stop and listen to nonsense from your children.
By being a mindful parent we are teaching them that they are important. They will learn to behave the same towards others, we all want that right?
Communication is often difficult for autistic children. Even for my daughter, who has masked her whole life. But listening and giving correct responses is very important for her.
3. Reduced Stress and Anxiety:
We all want less stress and anxiety in our lives, correct?
Imagine how challenging life is for our kids.
Their worlds are filled with expectations, orders, confusing social conventions and social media.
Both parents and children benefit from a calm and less complicated life.
Using clear and mindful instructions helps misunderstandings and future arguments.
My daughter finds social cues difficult and I notice a lot of adults do too.
We have to teach our children (autistic or not) what is expected and how to handle social situations.
Social media is a big part of everyone’s life. But what is it really doing to our children? Ourselves? Our relationships? Our ability to focus.
Food for thought?
4. Better Problem-Solving Skills:
When your child causes a problem, how do you react?
Are you calm or run in without thinking, screaming and shouting?
Being a mindful parent means being calm.
Stop and think before you act.
Particularly in navigating the complexities of autism.
Is this worth getting stressed about? Do you need to get into an argument about it?
What are you really upset about? How can you solve this problem together? Are you proud of the way you are handling these problems?
5. Independence:
Encouraging self-awareness and self-regulation in children helps them become more independent and confident.
Some children like my youngest are confident and independent.
Some like my autistic child struggle to self-regulate her emotions. She is cautious, but very aware of others and their feelings.
Teaching ourselves and our children to be more self-aware will help create a strong bond with ourselves.
Doing this helps us become confident and helps improve self-regulation.
Top 5 Tips on How to Be a Mindful Parent
1. Practice Active Listening:
Give your full attention to your child when they are speaking.
This means making eye contact and nodding. Reflect on what they say, without immediately jumping in with your own thoughts.
2. Create a Calm, safe space:
Create a peaceful and safe home environment. For children with autism, routines and a clutter-free space can reduce anxiety and overstimulation.
Be Present in the Moment:
Do activities together that help with being present in the moment and awareness.
Whether it’s playing a game, reading, art, exercise or simply talking. You can focus on that activity without distractions.
4. Practice Self-Care:
As parents, we need to take care of ourselves. I know this is hard to do, but I love working out and reading. Find something that is just for you.
We can’t help others if we first don’t help ourselves.
Meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even a quiet walk can recharge your energy and patience.
I meditate every night before bed as do my husband and my daughter.
5. Use Positive Reinforcement:
Celebrate your children’s achievements and positive behaviours, no matter how small.
I’m not saying run off to the store and buy a gift but give them a hug or simply say “Well done”. When you are being a mindful parent, you realise how often you are saying and doing these things. Or how little you are doing these things.
Positive reinforcement can build self-esteem, especially in children with autism.
Why being a mindful parent Is Best
Being a mindful parent means matching your needs with the needs of your children.
– Supports Emotional Regulation:
Being a role model of calm and mindful behaviour, we teach our children how to manage their emotions.
– Builds Trust and Security:
Consistent, empathetic, and attentive parenting helps children feel secure and understood. This has been proven to be important for their emotional development.
– Encourages Positive Behaviour:
When children feel heard, they are more likely to show positive behaviour. They are also less likely to act out.
– Increases Long-Term Wellbeing:
Being a mindful parent helps build resilience. Helps your children adapt, and have a positive view of life. As I am sure you would agree this is vital for good mental health.
Bee's Final Thoughts
Being a mindful parent is a journey. You can’t just achieve all this overnight. It is a journey of continuous learning and growth.
By changing to being a more mindful parent it has helped my two daughters. Especially my autistic daughter.
Together we have created a loving, supportive, and understanding environment.
A place where they both can be free to be themselves, grow and be happy.
Of course, It’s not always easy.
The rewards of seeing them grow into confident and happy people make every mindful moment worthwhile.
So, embrace being a mindful parent. Because not only will they grow but so will you. You will become more compassionate, calm and happy individuals.
Whether you’re new to this concept or already on this path. Remember that each mindful moment counts and brings a brighter, more connected future for your family.
Thanks for reading.
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The person behind it all
I am a Mumma of three, a Wife, a Home Educator, a Blogger and lastly a Chronic Pain Sufferer.
The most common questions I get asked are “How do I get my hair curly, is it natural?” “
“How are you so organised?”
“You must be really smart to educate your children, are you a teacher?”
and lastly “What is CRPS?”
I have suffered from chronic pain since the age of 10, it has been a daily struggle ever since.
I know thousands of people suffer as I do and I want to share what helps me and my expertise in CRPS, chronic pain and more.
So, I started this blog to share my answers to those questions, journey and experiences with you. I have always been passionate about health, personal growth, and creating a balanced lifestyle for myself and my family.
Searching for ways to enjoy life in a minimalistic way, be part of my children’s education and reduce stress and pain as a whole is important to me.
