In this post
Hey there, fellow mumas and dadas! I’m a proud (and sometimes very tired) home educating mum of three. Two bright, chatty girls and one cheeky baby boy.
Parenting is the most beautiful, chaotic, and rewarding journey I’ve ever been on. Over the years, I’ve learned that being a present parent doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being intentional with your time, your words, and your heart.
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Learning to Parent with Intention
When my first daughter was born, I thought “good parenting” meant doing everything right. Following all the books, sticking to routines, and never losing my patience. But somewhere between the sleepless nights, daily life, and the endless snack requests, I realised that the real magic happens in the moments, in between.
Now, I try to parent with intention.
That means slowing down, noticing the little things, and truly being there, not just physically, but emotionally. It’s putting my phone down when my child is talking. Not walking away when they are talking my ear off and letting them know I am struggling too.
It’s taking a breath before reacting. It’s choosing connection over control.
Believe me, this is all much easier said than done.
The Power of Words in Parenting
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is how powerful our words are and the impact they have on our young, developing minds.
The way we speak to our children becomes the voice they carry in their heads as adults.
Just think of the words used by your own parents. Our words can build them up, or quietly chip away at their confidence.
Here are some words and phrases I’ve learned to use more often:
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“Good job, I love how you tried.” It teaches them that effort matters more than perfection. Which, by the way, doesn’t exist.
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“That sounds hard, tell me how you feel.” It builds emotional awareness and trust.
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“I’m proud of you.” Not just for achievements, but for kindness, courage, and small everyday moments.
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“Let’s figure this out together.” It turns challenges into teamwork.
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“I’m listening.” Because sometimes, that’s all they really need.
These words help create safety, a space where our kids feel seen, heard, and accepted exactly as they are.
Words I’ve Stopped Using
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“You’re fine.” (when they clearly weren’t) This minimises their thoughts and feelings, making them feel less than.
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“Stop crying.” (because their feelings made me uncomfortable) They are allowed to feel. There are no such things are the wrong feelings or thoughts, just what we do with them.
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“Why can’t you just…?” (which came from frustration, not love). Not a proud moment, and I cringe every time I think of a time I used these words.
Those words might seem small, but they can leave big marks.
I’ve learned through my own parenting ways and the way my parents spoke that when we dismiss feelings. Or label behaviour instead of guiding it, our kids stop sharing their hearts with us.
Now, when my girls melt down or my baby boy refuses to be put down, I try to pause and say, “I can see you’re upset. Let’s talk about it.” It doesn’t fix everything, but it keeps our connection strong, and that’s what matters most.
What I Keep Doing (and What I No Longer Do)
I still mess up, often. I am human, but here’s what’s changed for me over the years:
✅ What I continue to do:
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I apologise when I’m wrong. (It teaches them it’s okay to make mistakes.) This is so important and something my parents didn’t do and still don’t.
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We set aside “screen-free” time every dinner time. It’s our family time, and I can give my full attention without other tasks to be completed.
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I celebrate effort, not results.
❌ What I no longer do:
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I don’t compare my kids to each other (or to anyone else). This really doesn’t help anyone. As a home educating mum, I remember that all kids are different and learn differently.
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I don’t expect myself to be “on” all the time. I am still practising this one.
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I don’t use guilt or shame as motivation, love and connection work better every time.
Being Present in the Chaos
Staying present in busy family life is messy, and that’s okay.
Dinner might be late, the laundry might pile up, but your kids won’t remember those things. They’ll remember how it felt to be around you.
Parenting with intention isn’t about doing more. It’s about being more aware of what matters.
When we slow down, listen deeply. We can choose our words with love. We raise children who trust themselves, feel safe in their world, and grow into kind, confident adults.
And honestly? That’s what it’s all about, right?
Thanks for reading. I appreciate your time.
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